It was our last chance to vacation as a family, so I saved up and offered to take them all (three kids and a wife) to Cancun. Now that they were teenagers, we thought this one of the last chances to do something together. Even offered for each of them to bring a friend.
Never quite worked out that way. My older boy begged off--had to work, didn't want to go with us. Asked me to finally trust him (heck, he was almost 18). So, we reluctantly agreed and went off for six wonderful days--just the four of us.
When we returned, our son picked us up. He proudly displayed the pierced eyebrow he got while we were away.
When we got home, and saw the repaired hole-in-the-wall, he proudly spoke of the keen craftsman ship that only a 17 (almost 18) year old could wield with plaster and paint (!).
He then said, and proudly displayed (because, after all, I did drop him off at middle school daily through the "tough years" , and encouraged him to "seize the day"), the new tatoo running the length of his torso was done so in my memory, with four-inch high script lettering...carpe diem...
Young people have no idea about what the true meaning of trust is. This world has de-sensitized an entire generation to some of the morals and values that we older guys hold dear.
So, what now?
Answers
Sorry to say but your kid needs time in the real world. I don;t care much about the piercing or the tattoo, but stealing is a different story. You protect him from that and you are an accomplice. Much worse, you are an enabler. Sounds like your kid has a lot going for him: he knew when to cross the line, he shared his tattoo within a backdrop of you as hero, and he at least tried to repair the wall. What he needs is to take his show ont he road. Let him try to sweet talk people who don;t give a shit and see where that gets him. It might be to jail or the hospital or laying face down in the alley, but such is his path if he doesn't learn that being full of shit is a no-win path. The sad part is that kids today see nothing but lies from thos we are supposed to admire most. From the President to leaders on Wall Street, it is all about spin. Bush still hasn't owned anything about the war and it wasn;t until the market was done 8,000,000 points that the word recession was uttered from his non-sensical lips. How are kids supposed to be honest and true when the biggest bullshitters out there are getting the biggest paychecks?
The fact is your son is almost an adult. He will have to live with the tattoo... and the piercing will fade with time as a fad. If the repair job needs "repair" - make him pay for it and also make him watch the guy do it right. Grounding will not work at this age... so next time you decide to go out of town.. take the keys and make him stay at a friends house. Let him know that you do not trust him alone in the house until you see he is making smart decisions for himself.