My youngest son has ADD. I suppose we all did at one point or another. Only now, it has a name (and a shitload of curative medications) and it's a much harder thing for a kid to deal with it in today's world than when we were kids.
So, the question now is, do I medicate my little kid? Vyvannse and Concerta don't have the same reputation as Ritalin. They are sad to be able to instantly give a kid focus, not space him out. Still, I am worried about losing the fire in his eyes, the spontanaeity, the essence of who he is. That impulsivity is exactly what makes him a lovable kid and a good hockey player. In some ways, it's a help, in others, it's a hindrance.
Is giving him medication the same message as saying "you are not OK as you are, you are better medicated". I am afraid that treating the condition medically will hurt him spiritually and mentally. What should I do?
Answers
The most important thing is the classroom. If the medication allows him to focus and find confidence in a learning environment....If it allows him to excel, then I vote for medication. The bottom line: none of us are perfect. That is not a bad message, it is the truth. Sometimes I think that the lack of transparency is the real problem with kids. We shield them from consequences, we give out trophies for 7th place, we sue teachers for getting in their face; when what needs to happen is for kids to get real. Childhood is about preparing your men and women for adulthood. My ex trated her kids' youth as a fairy land of make believe where all wishes come true. This is not good preparation. Being real is the greatest lesson of life. Iy the hockey player can excel in other areas and survive on the ice then you have done your job well. Give him the shit and explain why.
I agree that your child’s performance in the classroom is by far the most important thing to worry about. However what happens in the classroom will not influence your child as much as his peers will. We parents must remember that our children show their true colors around their peers; after all, that is who they spend most of their time with.
The real question is why is your child on medication? Sure, ADD or ADHD. But does he want to take medication? Or do you want him to? Medication makes the parents, the teachers, and all other authoritative figures job much easier, especially if your boy is a wild one. It also makes your child’s life easier, as he will find himself conforming to social expectations, and won’t be punished.
However this may not be who your child is. His ADD or ADHD is part of his personality. He should learn to over come obstacles with it. ADD and ADHD is not a disability, as many children with ADHD are borderline genius. I know this for a fact.
Perhaps the medication gets him through school, keeps him out of trouble, and makes your job easier. But your child will never be his true self. He won’t question you, he won’t question his teachers. But most of all, he wont question his peers. Children with questions are children with answers. Ignorance is bliss. And wisdom comes from experience. Is the medication holding him back from experiencing HIS life?
The choice is yours, but I think medication is the wrong way to go!